bible

The Performance Factor: Why Teens Seek Authentic Faith

/ Jen Maynard / Leave a comment

Research through 2024–2026 highlights a shift in how teenagers perceive the “authenticity” of faith at home. While parents remain the primary influence on a child’s spiritual life, teens are increasingly sensitive to a phenomenon researchers call “The Sunday-Monday Gap.”

Here is the latest data on why teens perceive faith at home as inauthentic and the impact it has on their long-term commitment to following Jesus.

The “Sunday-Monday Gap” (Ritual vs. Reality)

The most common criticism from teens is not that their parents are “bad people,” but that their faith appears compartmentalized.

  • Barna (2025): Only 20% of Christian parents regularly engage in meaningful spiritual conversations with their children outside of church.

If faith only shows up on Sunday morning or in a rushed bedtime prayer, teens notice. And not in a good way.

Many teenagers say that when faith is limited to church services or memorized prayers, it starts to feel like a performance. It feels like something you put on, like a social mask, rather than something that actually guides real life. When there is no visible Monday application, no connection to how a family handles stress, money, disappointment, or conflict, teens tend to file faith away as a hobby, not a true worldview.

Gen Z and Gen Alpha have grown up in a world saturated with content, commentary, and constant exposure. They are transparency experts. Social media has trained their hypocrisy radar to be sharp. They can sense when something does not line up. And when faith language does not match everyday behavior, they pick up on the gap immediately.

What is fascinating is that teens are not looking for perfect parents. They are looking for honest ones.

They respond to apology. They notice when a parent admits doubt instead of pretending certainty. They see the power of repentance lived out at the kitchen table, not just preached from a platform. In fact, teens who regularly witness their parents apologizing, taking responsibility, and practicing humility at home are significantly more likely to stay engaged in their faith.

The opposite also leaves a mark.

When a parent passionately proclaims the love of Jesus on Sunday but spends Monday tearing down their teenager with harsh words, teens call it out. They may not always say it directly, but internally they register the inconsistency. To them, that disconnect undermines everything that was said the day before.

Research from Church Answers in 2024 highlights just how deeply this impacts young people. Teens report being especially affected when parents appear polished and spiritual at church yet come across as angry, judgmental, or emotionally distant at home. The contrast is not lost on them.

For this generation, credibility is built in ordinary moments. Faith becomes compelling when it shapes how parents handle frustration, how they speak during conflict, and how they repair relationships after failure.

In the end, it is not about flawless parenting. It is about integrated living. When faith is visible on Monday afternoon as much as it is on Sunday morning, teens are far more likely to see it not as a mask, but as a way of life.

For children of church leaders (PKs), this is intensified. 2025 Barna data shows that pastor-parents often feel pressured to hide family struggles, which their teens interpret as a lack of authenticity.

In 2025 and 2026 research, a theme keeps surfacing among Gen Z and Gen Alpha. It is what researchers are calling the Performance Factor. And for many teens, it is one of the primary reasons they describe their Christian upbringing as inauthentic.

The Performance Factor points to a version of faith that centers on social reputation and religious optics rather than inner transformation or honest struggle. It is not that teens reject faith itself. What they reject is the pressure to look “christian” rather than be one.

When faith feels like a performance, teens do not see a life changing relationship with God. They see a script. A set of lines and behaviors they are expected to follow to keep the peace, protect the image, and avoid rocking the boat.

According to research from Fuller Youth Institute in 2025, teenagers are especially attuned to what happens in the small transition moments. One of the most telling examples is the shift between the car and the church foyer.

If a family is tense, arguing, or sitting in icy silence during the drive, but instantly becomes radiant and holy the moment they walk through the church doors, teens notice. They interpret that shift as a costume change. Christianity becomes something you put on for public viewing rather than something you live.

And here is where it gets heavy.

When teens believe faith is a performance, they often feel they must perform too. They learn to manage impressions. They say the right things. They suppress doubt. They hide questions. They curate a version of themselves that protects the family’s spiritual reputation.

Over time, that constant self editing takes a toll. Many experience what researchers describe as spiritual burnout before they even graduate. Not because they have wrestled deeply with theology, but because they feel there is no safe space to be their true, messy selves within a faith context.

The tragedy is that Christianity at its core invites honesty, confession, and transformation. But when it is modeled as image management, teens absorb a very different message.

They are not walking away from authenticity. They are searching for it.

The Digital Performance Layer

By 2026, the Performance Factor has only intensified, largely because of social media.

What used to be limited to the church foyer now lives online.

When parents post polished family photos at church, inspirational Bible verses, or captions about grace and redemption while home life feels chaotic or harsh, teens experience what many describe as a Digital Performance. It is not just inconsistency anymore. It is inconsistency on display.

For Gen Z and Gen Alpha, who have grown up fluent in digital culture, this disconnect feels especially jarring. They know how easy it is to curate an image. They understand filters, angles, captions, and branding. So when their lived experience at home clashes with the spiritual persona presented online, the gap feels intentional.

If a parent posts about God’s mercy and forgiveness but at home responds with constant shaming, explosive anger, verbal attacks, or even physical aggression, teens do not struggle to interpret that contradiction. They label it plainly. To them, it is hypocrisy.

And that word carries weight.

What is striking is that this reaction is not rooted in rebellion. It is rooted in a deep hunger for integrity. Teens are not expecting flawless parents. They are expecting alignment. They want the faith that shows up in a caption to also show up in a conflict.

Interestingly enough, Jesus had strong words about this kind of image management. In the Gospels, he consistently challenged religious leaders who prioritized outward appearance over inward transformation. In Matthew chapter 23, he rebukes those who clean the outside of the cup while neglecting the inside. His harshest critiques were not aimed at doubters or questioners, but at those who performed righteousness for public approval while ignoring justice, mercy, and faithfulness in private.

Teens today are echoing a similar critique.

When faith becomes a brand instead of a lived reality, they disengage. Not necessarily from Jesus, but from the version of faith that feels staged. The more curated the image, the more suspicious they become.

In a digital age, integrity is no longer tested only in physical spaces. It is tested in posts, comments, captions, and conversations behind closed doors. And for this generation, nothing undermines credibility faster than a gospel of grace online paired with cruelty at home.

They are not rejecting faith because it asks too much. They are rejecting performances that ask them to pretend.

The “Repentance” Solution

The most recent studies suggest a simple antidote: Parental Repentance. Teens who see their parents apologize to them (“I’m sorry I lost my temper; I’m still learning how to follow Jesus in my anger”) rate their home faith as 80% more authentic than those who never hear an apology.

Here is the sobering reality.

The way you parent your children quietly shapes the way they understand God. And this is especially true of fathers.

For better or worse, parents become the first mirror through which a child forms their concept of a heavenly Father. That is not a small assignment. It is sacred. It carries weight.

When fathers are consistently angry, children often assume God is angry. When fathers are harsh or relentlessly critical, children begin to imagine God that way too. Long before a child can articulate theology, they are absorbing it through tone of voice, facial expressions, and everyday interactions.

Two significant things tend to happen in this dynamic.

First, children notice the disconnect when a parent says one thing about God but lives another way. If you speak about grace yet lead with rage, they see the inconsistency. To them, it feels like hypocrisy.

Second, they are left trying to reconcile who God actually is. If their primary spiritual reference point feels unpredictable, condemning, or cold, they often project that onto God. That internal confusion can carry weighty consequences into adolescence and adulthood.

We all know the Ten Commandments, but consider Exodus 20:7: “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not leave anyone unpunished who misuses His name.”

At first glance, that may seem unrelated to parenting. But misusing the name of God is more than careless speech. It includes any use of His name that empties it of its true weight. That can happen through words, through vows, through worship, and through lifestyle.

Calling on the name of God while living in open contradiction to His character is one of the clearest forms of misuse. True faith is demonstrated through action. A verbal profession alone is not enough if it is disconnected from a life that reflects God’s heart. Hypocrisy does not just confuse children. It damages the witness of the church.

In Titus 1:16 it plainly says: “They claim that they know God, but their actions deny it.”

That is a sobering verse for any professing Christian parent.

Parenting is not a free pass to behave however we want behind closed doors simply because we profess to be a Christian in public. Our children see the private moments. They absorb the patterns. They connect the dots.

The goal is not perfection. It is authentic transformation.

Your children do not need a flawless parent. They need a repentant one. They need to see confession. They need to hear apologies. They need to watch you align your life with the very God you proclaim.

So be quick to repent.

Not because you are trying to protect your image, but because you are shaping someone’s understanding of who God is.

For years, the team at Fuller Youth Institute has studied what they call “Sticky Faith”, the kind of faith that actually lasts beyond high school and into adulthood.

Their 2024 and 2025 updates highlight something both simple and profound. The single most important factor in developing a sticky faith is not parental perfection. It is parental vulnerability.

Let that sink in.

It is not flawless Bible knowledge.
It is not perfect church attendance.
It is not having all the right answers.

It is a parent who is willing to say, “I was wrong.”

When a mom or dad apologizes for losing their temper, for being harsh, or even for acting hypocritically, they are doing more than repairing a relationship. They are modeling the Gospel. They are demonstrating that Christianity is not a performance for the polished but grace for sinners.

That moment of apology preaches louder than a sermon.

It tells a teenager that faith is not about pretending to have it all together. It is about recognizing when you do not and turning back toward God anyway. It shows that repentance is not a one time event at conversion but an ongoing posture of the heart.

Research shows that teens who perceive their parents as authentic, defined simply as being willing to admit fault and repent, are significantly more likely to remain engaged in church and faith communities. Why? Because they do not feel pressure to fake it.

They learn that belonging is not based on image management. It is rooted in grace.

When parents cling to perfection, teens often feel they must do the same. They hide doubts. They mask struggles. They curate a spiritual version of themselves to maintain acceptance. But when parents lead with humility, they create an atmosphere where honesty is safe.

Sticky faith does not grow in an environment of pressure.
It grows in a home where grace is practiced out loud.

The irony is beautiful. The very thing many parents fear will undermine their authority, admitting weakness, is often the very thing that strengthens their spiritual influence.

Perfection impresses no one for long.
Vulnerability builds faith that lasts.

Young people are watching closely. They are less persuaded by polished performances and more moved by authenticity. When faith is practiced around the dinner table, in moments of conflict, in forgiveness and grace, it becomes tangible.

The sacred is not confined to a building. It often shows up in the ordinary rhythms of home. And when parents choose vulnerability over perfection, they turn everyday moments into holy ground.

❤ Jen

There’s Something We’ve Missed About Mary And Martha

/ Jen Maynard / Leave a comment

Most of us are familiar with the story in Luke of Mary and Martha. I can say that every teaching I’ve heard on Mary and Martha went something like this: “Martha shows us how anxiety and stress over household responsibilities can take our eyes off of Jesus. Mary chose to forego her household responsibilities to spend time with Jesus, and that’s what we need to choose too. While true, that Jesus is to be our priority and I agree 100% – at the same time we’ve missed a very important cultural shift that took place and empowered women. Jesus doesn’t see women as second class citizens or less than men in the Kingdom of God.

In Luke 10:38-42: 

38Now as they went on their way, Jesusd entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42but one thing is necessary.e Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

In Luke 10, we read that Jesus entered the house of Martha, and “she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” To sit at the feet of a rabbi meant you were a disciple of that rabbi.[1] Luke says Martha was “distracted by all the preparations.” This isn’t about Martha wanting help cutting the vegetables or setting the table. In her Middle Eastern culture, she is upset over the fact that her sister is seated with the men and has become a disciple. And Martha is horrified! Indignant, Martha appeals to Jesus, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?” In other words, “Don’t you care that she’s not staying in her place…in the kitchen….rather than out here with the men?” But Jesus says that Mary has chosen the good and it won’t be taken from her. Jesus defends Mary’s choice to be his disciple, sit at his feet, and learn. He affirms her decision to go against culture, step outside her expected role, and do that which was culturally viewed as a “man’s place.”

According to N.T. Wright, a New Testament scholar, Mary sat at Jesus’ feet in the male part of the house, not in the back rooms with the other women.

He goes on to say that when Mary sat at the Master’s feet, this phrase did not mean what it would mean today because she had “cut clean across one of the most basic social conventions.” It is a sign of your “studentship” when you sit at your teacher’s feet, taking in the wisdom and learning of the teacher. [2]

As a student, it was a given that you would not just study for the purpose of informing yourself, but also to be a teacher, a rabbi, when you were studying. He goes on to say that he doubts any 1st century reader would have missed the point. This is why Wright believes so many women held positions of leadership, initiative and responsibility in the early church. See Romans chapter 16 for a list of names.

It has been emphasized for years that Martha’s busyness is not the best example to follow – but Mary was being allowed to sit and learn at the feet of her Rabbi – to become educated so she could then teach others! That was a huge shift towards women being given more opportunity in that ancient culture.

Another example we can refer back to is when Jesus appeared to women as His first resurrected encounter. Despite women being deemed unreliable witnesses in ancient court proceedings, Jesus chooses them to bear witness to the greatest miracle of all.

Next time you hear about Mary making the better choice over Martha, remember that back in those days – women did not have the same privileges as men. So Jesus allowing Mary to sit at His feet while teaching, was Him designating Mary as His student – to sit at His feet was an honor, previously reserved only for men.

The purpose of this blog is to illustrate that God has created both men and women to work together in harmony to advance His kingdom. The very important position of Mary at the feet of the Master is often overlooked. There is a tendency for teachers/preachers to emphasize Mary’s decision to do what was best — she was “listening to His words, sitting at His feet.” (Luke 10:39). Our primary purpose in life is to love God, so we must spend time with Him by praying, reading, and obeying His word. That is absolutely true! In Martha’s house, however, there was something significant happening… something that isn’t typically discussed in this passage. A major cultural shift that is often overlooked is the fact that by sitting at Jesus’ feet, who was a Rabbi in that Jewish culture, Christ recognized Mary as His student, an important shift in a tradition where women were not traditionally educated.

[1] Kenneth E. Bailey, Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2008) 192

[2] N.T. Wright, Surprised by Scripture, New York, NY: Harper Collins, 2014

-Jen ❤

Works and Fruit

/ Jen Maynard / Leave a comment

This is probably one of the heavier pieces I’ve written, but I can’t shake this realization I had when reading through Matthew 7.

Matthew 7:15-27

15“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.
21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
24“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Sandwiched in the middle of these verses is the well known statement where Jesus says that there will be people who call him Lord, and claim they did mighty works in His name, yet Jesus tells them to depart from him that He never knew them and went on to call them workers of lawlessness.

He starts by saying that we will know them (false prophets) by their fruit. Don’t let the term “false prophet” trip you up here. The Greek word pseudoprophétés simply means religious imposter one who specializes in “the art of misimpression“, like how they were “commissioned” by the Lord to touch the world with their message. But when in fact, they operate by self and for self so they must be exposed for what they are – and are not!- Strong’s 5578

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. – Matthew Henry says “Christ here shows that it will not be enough to own him for our Master, only in word and tongue. It is necessary to our happiness that we believe in Christ, that we repent of sin, that we live a holy life, that we love one another. This is his will, even our sanctification. Let us take heed of resting in outward privileges and doings, lest we deceive ourselves, and perish eternally, as multitudes do, with a lie in our right hand. Let every one that names the name of Christ, depart from all sin.” The difference here between a true disciple and an imposter is repentance and holy living. Those two action words seem vanishing in our culture today. Many have been lulled to sleep by a deception that says “I can claim to be a Christian and even do some mighty works, but live as I please for myself.”

Clement of Rome stated something similar on this passage of scripture. “Never recognized you as my disciples. While my name was on your lips, your hearts were far from me.” Let us then not call Him Lord, for that will not save us, but do the will of God.

Let me be clear, salvation is by grace through faith. Salvation is not by works. We are called to good works. But works are not the same as fruit. I realized when reading this passage that sometimes we assess our own and other people’s works as good fruit. But clearly Jesus is making a distinction here. Fruit cannot be manufactured – works can be faked.

Jesus goes on to talk about “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” We have to be hearers and doers of the Word.

So what are the marks of a true Christian? What are the fruit that we judge? Paul lays out 20 things in Romans 12:9-21 that are marks of a true Christian.

  1. Let love be genuine
  2. Abhor (detest all ungodliness, do not tolerate wickedness) what is evil
  3. Hold fast to what is good
  4. Love one another with brotherly affection
  5. Outdo one another in showing honor
  6. Do not be slothful in zeal
  7. Be fervent in spirit, (enthusiastically) serve the Lord
  8. Rejoice in Hope
  9. Be patient in tribulation (steadfast and patient in distress)
  10. Be constant in prayer (continually seeking wisdom, guidance, and strength)
  11. Contribute to the needs of the saints
  12. Seek to show hospitality
  13. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them (who cause you harm or hardship)
  14. Rejoice with those who rejoice
  15. Weep with those who weep
  16. Live in harmony with one another
  17. Do not be haughty (conceited, self-important, exclusive) but associate with the lowly
  18. Never be wise in your own sight
  19. Do not repay evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all
  20. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all

These are things we should cultivate in our own lives, they are contrary to the flesh – yet they line up perfectly with the fruit of the Spirit, which is the growth stick for Christ followers. This realization of the distinction that Jesus makes between fruit and works, calls us to examine our own lives and evaluate if we are just doing works or are we bearing good fruit.

-Jen ❤

Speak Life To Yourself

/ Jen Maynard / Leave a comment

lesia-and-serhii-artymovych-V4Tm6LUuNNI-unsplash

Did you know we can mentally affirm things and not really believe them? We do this all the time. For instance when someone pays us a compliment, “You look amazing!”….. we respond (most likely) with a sheepish nod and “thanks.” How about when we read the Bible and come across a verse like “You are fearfully and wonderfully made”, we mentally agree, but the reality is we don’t believe it.

What we believe comes out in our actions. And, by our actions, we prove that we don’t really believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. And, by our speech, we prove that we don’t really believe it either because of the things we say to ourselves.

Walking in freedom and wholeness requires action on our part. Jesus set us free, but we have to choose to walk in it. We choose to move forward.

Transformation takes place as the mind is renewed. Renewing the mind is NOT a one time event. It requires daily maintenance. Without daily maintenance, the mind is over-taken with negativity.

Here’s the deal:

Your perspective is how you think about things, but there is a very important step that takes place before perspective and that is perception. Perception is how you see things. Matthew 6:22, Jesus tells us

“Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!”

If you can’t see things clearly, you’ll never think about things correctly.

Perception affects Perspective.

We need to back up and check our perception lenses, I like to call it “Perception Deception”- because, if the enemy can keep your perception blurred, you’ll never walk in true freedom and wholeness.

Start cleaning the lens of your perception today by speaking life to yourself. Say it over and over again until it moves from your head to your heart.

❤ Jen

Breaking The Cycle Part 1: Seed Planters

/ Jen Maynard / Leave a comment

4

Changing The Language of Parenting: Seed Planters

Parenting is hard work. You’ve been entrusted with a human to raise, train and disciple. An 18 year minimum commitment to a life that looks to you for every basic need. That’s overwhelming to think about, but God knew what He was doing and He gave us a manual to follow. The Bible is the ultimate parenting manual. The Word is living and active. “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” 2 Timothy 3:16

I want you to put on some glasses that will change your perspective for a few minutes. I want you to look at your child’s heart like a garden. Have you ever marveled at the process of planting seeds and watching them bloom? Seeing something beautiful and amazing blossom from the tiny seed that was planted? It reminds me of the power and potential packed in those little seeds. The content of the seed determines the value. Now look at the garden of your child’s heart. What do you see?

Did you know that as a mom, we are planting seeds everyday, multiple times a day? We have a choice though…we can choose to plant seeds of life or plant weeds. Our words and actions determine the kinds of seeds we plant in the hearts of our children.

Have you ever noticed the power a word carries? Certain words evoke certain emotions within us. Words that we may be immune to can plant seeds in another person that will grow fear, rejection, resentment, self-hatred, insecurity…..the list goes on.

As confessing Jesus followers, our job as parents is to train, to plant good seeds into good soil. He blessed us with a child(ren) to steward; arrows to craft for His kingdom. Too many children growing up in Christian homes are leaving the church when they hit adulthood*.  We have to break the cycle of broken children through our language, actions, the lies we believe and start walking in humility.

I truly believe that how we parent our children is a direct reflection of how we view God, our Father. If we are angry militant parents, we view God as an angry militant father. That is not a true reflection of God that our children see lived out through us in everyday life.

Seeds of punishment. Punishment is a word that has been accepted in the everyday language of parenting, without thought. The thought goes something like this, “My child disobeyed, so I inflict punishment. That’s the responsible thing to do, the Bible says so.” But, what does the Bible ACTUALLY say? In 1 John 4:18 it says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Punishment produces fear in our children and out of fear, we punish, because we want to control. The cycle starts and seeds are planted.

Name calling, threats and shaming, plant seeds of insecurity, self-hatred and rejection. Our response in a moment of frustration can have lasting affects. The plan of Jesus is redemptive, the plan of parenting should be redemptive not condemning. We don’t get a free pass to sin in our parenting. And we certainly won’t be able to remove all the weeds we planted out of frustration and anger once they leave home.

We need to remove words like punishment, fear, control, manipulation, accusations, name calling, threats and shaming from our parenting tool box. These are not fruitful tools provided by our Heavenly Father to cultivate good soil for good seeds. The Bible tells us in John 10:10 that the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. These commonly accepted words and methods are tools from the enemy. They do not bring LIFE. They are like weeds planted in the garden.

Did you know that weed seeds are unique? Here are some interesting facts about weeds.

  1. They produce lots of seeds and multiply rapidly.
  2. The seed of a weed can sometimes survive for a very long time in the soil, laying dormant and then sprouting as soon as conditions are right.
  3. They are able to establish quickly, sometimes they sprout up in a blink.
  4. They can grow in inhospitable environments.

Words that bring LIFE are kind, gentle, loving, pure, good and useful for building up. Our words should build up, not tear down.

The content of a seed is what determines it’s value. If I gave you an old torn up box with $1,000 inside, the value is in the content of the box. If I gave you a beautiful box wrapped with pristine silky ribbon and inside it contained rotted meat, the box didn’t determine the value, the content did. You can’t change the characteristics that make a weed what it is.

Weeds choke out life! The parable of the sower teaches us the importance of planting good seed in good soil.

We can break the cycle by intentionally changing the language of our parenting. We can plant seeds of life. Words are habits. Breaking habits take discipline and require work, but the reward is amazing.

God calls us to train and disciple. Ephesians 6:4 in the amplified says:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with loving kindness] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

I used the Amplified version to show emphasis on breaking down the meaning.  The word father in the original Greek, translates to mean both mother and father.

Don’t let one bad day become an excuse for every day! The Lord’s mercies are new every morning, we don’t have to default to parenting in our own strength. Each day we can choose to clothe ourselves in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; and plant seeds of life.

Discipleship (discipline) = Strength and Good Seeds

Punishment (control) = Weakness and Weed Seeds

❤ Jen

*Barna.org